This one? Technically old news. Sorry. These things happen.

You know why the gold bars are called butterbars, right? It’s because they melt under pressure.

Ensigns: I kid. On the other hand, I’m pretty much required to give you a hard time. Specifically, the closer you are to being the Bull, the more obnoxious crap I have to throw at you. JORGs of the world, I’ll leave you alone, at least until you catch up to speed.

Have we talked Bulls and JORGs? Bull: Senior ENS. Ringleader. Designer of pranks. Instigator of My Little Pony wrapping paper attacks on the XO’s stateroom. Oh yes. That one was epic. I almost fell over from laughing too hard when I saw it. The best part? The XO wasn’t mad. Seriously, score 1 (very shiny) point for JOPA.

JORG: First of all, it’s not spelled Jorge. Or George. Though it is pronounced George. The JORG is the Junior Officer Requiring Guidance. The junior ENS in the wardroom. The one who calls attention for the CO when we have meetings in Officers’ Country.

I have never been the Bull or the JORG. It was once suggested upon my arrival that I was, which I declared absurd. I had, after all, been an ENS for almost a year at that point. I never claimed to be particularly useful, but there were ENSs on that ship who had been indoctrinated by my indocs. Darn straight I’m not the JORG. As for the Bull? We have a SWO who commissioned the same day I did. I had my share of obnoxious moments, but I was never actually the senior ENS.

Oh yeah, have I mentioned I’m not an ENS? I’ve upgraded. I’m now DISBO 2.0 (or Ensign Upper Half if we still want to be snarky). Actually, our entire wardroom is growing up. We went for a long stretch where we had a whole slew of ENSs just sitting around waiting to promote, then the SWO and I kicked things off. We’ve had a promotion every few weeks for the last four months. Pretty soon the 2011 NROTC folks will move up in the world, and then we’ll go almost a whole year before anyone else puts on the silver. Yikes.

Unrelated to my wardroom, I know a guy who was the Bull and the JORG at the same time. While he was a department head. Gotta love sub guys.

LTJG Seachop out. Bam.